I’ve been in Denver for a conference this week and just so happened to run into a friend I grew up with from junior high in Minot, ND!
We went to a mixer after the event, both sat in a loud room across a small table from each other, both sipping on water, and did some catching up on the last few years of life, family, and business.
Inevitably, conversation about screens, gaming, and kids came up.
“What are you doing about screens for your kids”? she asked.
I’m the first one to say that I don’t have all this figured out. As a matter of fact, I share these ideas and thoughts, not as an expert, but as a fellow mom trying to navigate this world of screens and technology.
With that said, I will share some of what we are doing to create an analog environment in our home and help our boys develop into strong, masculine, hard-working, character-driven men.
These days kids are growing up in a reality where silence feels foreign, and attention is a currency slipping through their fingers, and ours, too. Dopamine is cheap. You know
Science shows that even short bursts of screen time can shift brain chemistry, dulling dopamine sensitivity, altering sleep, and hijacking focus. Yet we’re not just talking biology… when I think about the real underlying truth, it’s about presence. When every spare moment is filled with a scroll, a ping, a flicker, we lose the necessary spaces where creativity, connection, and intuition live. Remember being bored as a kid? So important
As a mother of five boys, I see firsthand how easily those moments vanish, how screens pull them from the wonder of the outdoors, from imagination, from conversation. And if I’m honest, I feel it in myself too.
But there’s good news: our brains are elastic.
When we unplug, even for a few intentional hours, healing happens.
Our nervous system resets. Eyes brighten. Thought deepens. We return to humankind and remember that joy doesn’t live behind a screen; it lives in the soil, playing board games, having real conversations across the table, the pages of a good book, and living real life.
I can’t say this loud enough, but our boys have sometimes felt like the outliers — the “weird ones.” And sometimes, I’ve felt like a terrible mom because I say no. A lot. What we are trying to do is make analog, the outdoors, and real life MUCH more appealing than the screen.
Sometimes I feel like it’s working, and sometimes, there’s a tug of war and I feel like I am failing… sometimes miserably.
I want to go back to the 90’s. Lol… keep the benefits of technology without the tsunami of downside.
Trying to hold the balance, stay in the now, live fully and teach them to do the same, all while navigating a world that is only getting faster and louder.
This week, I invite you to let go of the pressure from the kids to say yes, and embrace saying no. But not just for the sake of saying no, but in place of no, create an adventurous experience that offers real dopamine from real accomplishment.
Here are some… rhythms we live by:
Have a no-screen supper… you’re probably already doing this, but cook something from scratch together, let the littlest ones crack the eggs or put the noodles in. Find ways to engage and put them to work. It can be a little more chaotic, but so worth it.
Let your kids plan an evening adventure - a flashlight walk, backyard fort, or stargazing picnic.
Read aloud by candlelight - a story, a proverb, or something that makes everyone laugh… Pride and Prejudice style.
- Build something with your hands - a puzzle, a loaf of bread, a fire.
- Go for a drive with no destination - windows down, wind in hair.
- Sweat together - go on a hike, bike ride, or family walk after dinner.
- End the night with conversation, rather than notifications.
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And before bed, speak words of life over your children.
Let your attention be the most beautiful gift you give.
Presence is medicine.
And the world, especially our little guys, is aching for more of it.
